Michigan State Wednesday

Everyone, welcome to another day of Michigan State week: now 100% David Shaw free!

Of course, it's always helpful to know a bit about the team we're going to play.  Let's start with the basics: their leading scorer is Shilique Calhoun, with three touchdowns scored in Michigan State's first two games. For Michigan State, this is good news.

The bad news is that Mr. Calhoun is a Defensive End.  Confused?  Well, that's perfectly legitimate.  Allow trusty Deadspin to explain:

Words can't really express how bad Michigan State's offense is right now – statistically, the Spartans are 114th in total offense and 118th in yards per play after playing Western Michigan and South Florida – which comes with the territory when you put your offense in the hands of Jim Bollman. Because who needs offense, am I right? Through two games, Shillique Calhoun has already found the end zone three times from the middle of the defensive line, which not only makes him the Spartans' leading scorer: It gives him more touchdowns than the entire MSU offense, which has only managed to score two. Against South Florida, Calhoun hit paydirt twice, on a four-yard fumble return in the second quarter and a 56-yard interception return in the third, effectively supplying the final margin in a 21–6 win. (Farther down the box score, he also recorded two tackles for loss.) Meanwhile, the offense finally punched in its first score of the day in the fourth quarter, taking advantage of a short field to chew nearly five minutes off the clock in the course of moving 33 yards.

Linked here.  Perhaps Mr. Calhoun is running a string of good luck, just like his mascot:

Proof that sometimes, good things happen to bad people.

At one point, before their tussle with I-AA Youngstown State, the Michigan State Spartans boasted America's #1 defense.  and #125 offense.  Alas, all good things, such as this gargantuan achievement gap, must come to an end.  They drubbed Youngstown State 55-17.  Yes, the mighty Youngstown State Penguins. This brings the combined record of the teams Michigan State has played to 2-7.  2 wins against I-AA schools for Youngstown State, 0 wins for South Florida, and 0 wins for Western Michigan.  And all without throwing a single punch:

Glorious accomplishments for House Sparty:

And for their impregnable defense, aka SPARTYFENSE:

The Spartyfense is enormous:
there is no escaping

Which Tommy Rees and company will likely blow to Kingdom Come on Saturday.

Backer Song of the Week