Southern Cal Friday: DACOACHO Edition

Hello and good morning once again. Tomorrow, dear friends, we must face

THE ORGERON

 

 

Once he was D-Line coach at Southern Cal, and always willing to rip his shirt off at a moment's notice while sounding as if he is speaking from within a bowl full of gumbo, even when offering hummers to the general public.
 

 

Opinions on the Orgeron are divided.  Some find him distasteful, but entertaining, such as the persons who penned the handy guide "So You're Going to Play for the Orgeron".  Excerpts from this tome include:

Foreward:  So you're going to play for the Orgeron? Well, of course you are, that's why you bought this book. Rest assured you are about to embark on a magical yet perilous journey that will test the very metal of your body, your sanity, and your inner rage. You will enter Orgeronia a fresh-faced lad full of ideas and ambitions, and you will leave a grizzled, mutant sociopath aimlessly wandering the city streets in search of a way to slake your unquenchable thirst for human blood and suffering with overindulgence and sadism...

Chapter One: Preparing Yourself Psychologically for the Orgeron: ...granted, this is a lot of information at once, so we'll try to condense it down to list form. When planning your summer regimen before enrolling, here are some "Do's" and "Don't's" for making yourself mentally ready for Orgeronation:
DO: Dedicate time daily to reflect upon and take deep quasi-sexual pleasure in abject and unnecessary violence wrought upon undeserving bystanders.
DON'T: Get your ear pierced, you fucking pussy. If you insist on doing something to decorate your corpus because you're an attention-craving Sally, get a tattoo. On your ass. Of a naked woman. Then, when they try to charge you after they finish, KO the guy with a flying dragon punch.
DO: Wear your football helmet while performing the physical act of love. Encourage your partner to pull out fistfulls of your hair and burn you with the cigarette lighter thing from your car...
Chapter Eight: Barroom Brawling Techniques and Tips:  ...now we all know that there will be times that we lose games out on the field. But remember that when we carry ourselves with integrity and always give 110%, there's one thing, deep within, that we can never lose. And that one thing is a bar fight. An Orgeron man strives for perfection on the field, off the field, and on top of the pool table while brandishing a broken bottle of Wild Turkey and a splintered and bloodstained pool cue. Just keep these handy tips in mind:
The Nicholls State Nutcracker: A well-rounded maneuver that comes through in the clutch when you're hopelessly outnumbered. As you can see in Figure 1[a], the positioning of your weight-bearing foot is the most integral factor in getting the requisite centrifugal velocity to maximize your crotch-cleaving efforts.
The Syracuse Scissorkick: This move is for experts only. Untrained users shouuld not, I repeat, should not attempt this move, particularly if there is a juke box or pane of glass within fifteen feet of your starting point. For those maverick enough to give it a shot, Figure 2[c] illustrates this complicated yet tragically beautiful weapon...
Others, such as Tulane's football coach, refered to him as "lower than dirt".  WHich may have had something to do with the fact that the Orgeron called his players, asking if any would like to transfer to the school he coached (Ole Miss), while emergency workers were still pulling bodies out of houses in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. 

http://www.fanblogs.com/mississippi/006150.php

He also is an apparent fan of shirtlessness:

He [Orgeron] — and several other Tennessee coaches, apparently — are ripping their shirts off to impress and sway recruits.

The first time he did it in 2005, the act took on a life of its own. Orgeron was fresh off a stint at Southern Cal, and two years earlier, his Trojan defensive line was nicknamed “Wild Bunch II,” — an homage to the 1969 defensive line that was nicknamed after the movie of the same name.

When he got to Ole Miss, the nickname was lost in translation. He tore his shirt off during the first team meeting, and players chanted, “Ole Miss, wild boys … Ole Miss, wild boys … Ole Miss, wild boys.”

It was the stuff of urban legend. It was intended to get the players fired up, but it instead led to many a punch line as time wore on with poor results on the field.

Strangely, it appears that the tactic’s track record will not prevent Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin from using it in his first year at the helm in Knoxville.

With more than 100 players in attendance at the Volunteers’ junior day — a day created for high school juniors to visit and be scouted by coaches — the shirts went flying.

As Markeith Ambles put it to VolQuest, “We were in a dark theater and all of a sudden they turned on the lights and the coaches ripped off their shirts. It was like in the army and it got crunk up in there. Some of the players that were in there did some chants. It got crunk.”

- http://www.selmatimesjournal.com/2009/03/02/despite-assistant-role-orgerons-influence-spreads/#ixzz2i5NWmfY4

See below for visual approximation:

Tennessee fans have harsh words for the Orgeron as well.  You see, in early 2010 he was assistant coach at Tennessee, and had established a top 20 recruiting class.  When offered a large sum of money to coach at Southern Cal, he jumped at the chance to head back to California.  And tried to take some of his Tennessee recruits with him, calling them while they sat in a meeting with their head coach, attempting to convince them to desert Tennessee and come to Southern Cal. The players he targeted, freshmen who had not yet enrolled in school, put the conversation on speakerphone for the upperclassmen in the room, who were not pleased. 

http://www.rockytoptalk.com/2010/1/14/1250764/ed-orgeron-admits-calling

So please.  Let's beat Southern Cal tomorrow so we never have to say we lost to this clown.